So I found Adrijana and asked her help to organize the surprise party. She suggested taking advantage of her gossip network, and just getting a whole bunch of random people to show up at the holodeck for the party. Then all I had to do was find out if Diz was going to show or not, and if not, find some excuse to drag her there.

I'm trying to pick which holoprogram I should use for the party. I've got access to some beach resort programs, a couple of good ones of Luna without all the population clutter, and probably easily a hundred or more from movies and books. I may just have to pick one at random, or sneak through her collection to see what gets the most use recently.

I'll probably have to show up an hour early to dig out the alcohol collection from within my pocket, but Diz will appreciate the effort.

Damn it. Diz got promoted. Now I have to throw her a party.

Why couldn't that bitch have waited until after my un-birthday. She'll totally out-do whatever I do, and the party I threw will still be fresh in everyone's minds to compare to, so no one will remember I throw good parties with good booze, they'll remember she throws good parties with good booze, nevermind that half the time, she has me get the booze.

At least I know she'll appreciate it, and my birthdays, regardless of if they fell on a year that the actual day occurred or not, always rocked when she organized the party. I'll get started on the guest list, not tell her what I'm doing. She always hates surprise parties.

While documenting my pocket space, and making the improvements that have occurred to me while doing such, I've been left with a lot of idle cycles in the brainpan. This has lead to reflection of the time spend with Thil while on Andor, as well as her bonding, my own wedding to Jenni, and not least of all, Sky.

I suppose I can start with Sky, since one's first is always the most important, and often the one all others are judged against. I regret to say I haven't talked to her in a few years, not since my getting engaged to Jenni actually. That vile woman hated Sky, saw her as a threat or something equally stupid. At the time, I bought into her bull shit excuses as to why I shouldn't talk to Sky anymore. I find this funny, as until this asinine declaration on her part, Jenni had made a good impression upon Sky. I still hear about her from time to time, she's still active in theater, still making a bang up impression in the Klingon operas, despite the lull that came while the federation and the empire were at war.

The last time I saw Sky, she'd given me a pair of tickets so I could take Jenni to the show she was currently in. Jenni came up with some excuse not to go, claiming she never liked that "Klingon crap" and she'd only pretended for me. I should have taken that as a sign of the mess I was getting into, instead I tried to explain to Sky, after the performance, why I couldn't talk to her anymore. At the time I was too stupid to understand why she was getting so upset, I promised that once married life settled in, I'd convince Jenni to let me talk to her again. The look on her face, the cold shoulder she gave me after that, it hurt.

Jenni was something. One of my crew mates insisted I needed to come check out the rodeo in his home town. For a lack of better things to do with my leave, I got liquored up and tagged along. He introduced me to his fiancee, and the girls she trained with for the rodeo. Jenni was one of them, tanned skin, hair in a braid down to her ass, lean muscles that implied she could break me in half if she wanted to. She quickly noticed my flask, and mooched some of whatever it was I was drinking that day, I think I'd come up with some decent Romulan Ale and got it through customs by way of my pocket space. Next thing I know, she's taken a shining to me, and we had a wild night of sex.

From there, the courtship was foggy and weird. She kept in touch via subspace, even dared step foot off the planet to come see me a couple times, even though she insisted she hated artificial gravity and the coldness of star ships and space stations. When she started dropping not so subtle hints that she felt I should be asking her to marry me, I was blindsided, and sought the advice of those around me. My crew mate who'd been responsible for introducing me, he encouraged me to ask her. Sky asked probing questions, and eventually just told me it was my choice in the end and she really couldn't do anything more than ask the questions she already did.

When I asked Jenni to pick out a ring, so I could ask her proper when I was next on earth, that's when she started changing from the person I'd been involved with, though at a distance, for the previous six months. The girl I'd met, and gotten involved with, was a party girl. She rode hard, she partied harder, and dressed in things like halter tops, daisy dukes and cowboy boots and hats. Once she picked out a ring, and I actually proposed, she started dressing more conservatively, talking about the ranch house she wanted me to build her in the middle of Texas, the breeds of horses she wanted in the stables to teach our children to ride. She showed up for our wedding with her long hair all chopped off.

She picked out a dude ranch in Montana for our honeymoon, where I had to work my ass off all day, and then didn't even get any sex for my troubles when the day was over. We weren't allowed to bring in liquor, and she got what I'd snuck in taken away after I'd offered to share. At the time I was ashamed to realize that I'd been looking forward to making it back to the Francisco. She wasn't enthusiastic to come with me, but she eventually decided she had to make the sacrifice for our marriage. She ended up spending a lot of time in the holodeck with the horse riding programs I found, but was constantly telling me what was wrong about them. Even as I fell all over myself to improve them for her, I still couldn't make her happy. It only took her a month to start asking me if I can get a posting planet side somewhere. It didn't seem to matter to her, no matter how many times I explained, my engineering degree focused on starship engineering, she still insisted we needed to move planet-side somewhere.

After three months of this, I finally told her to pick out some land somewhere, and start building whatever house she wanted. She happily shipped off to do just that in the middle of Texas, and I spent the next three months dutifully reading and listening to reports of her progress, via subspace, as I started to re-evaluate our marriage. When on our six month anniversary I had the request for divorce served to her, even as I was across the quadrant and she was interrupted from inspecting a possible stallion to serve as stud for her budding herd, she went into raging bitch mode. She actually made it across the quadrant in record time, and was in my face demanding to know where I got the nerve. The shouting match that resulted even woke the captain, three decks up, which was surprising, even if she was a Vulcan.

The actual divorce took another year to finalize. My lawyer made it very clear that my diligence on keeping my contraception injection current, and avoiding any children to complicate the divorce, was a saving grace. He was amazed when I pointed out that she and I had not had sex even once after we were married. I was actually embarrassed when this fact came up during the divorce proceedings after this, listed as one of the reasons for divorce. Once all the dust settled, I made a point to avoid contact with her again. Attempts to re-establish contact with Sky were made, but so far have yielded nothing. Last I heard of Jenni, she'd settled down in that house she started to build while we were still married, and has latched onto one of the ranch hands she'd hired. I wouldn't be surprised if they'd actually been involved before the divorce was started, but I really don't care if that is the case or not.

The bonding was beautiful. Thil looked beautiful. Her zh'yi looked beautiful. Her other two bondmates were noble looking. It was all together nice. Well, other than being shunted to the kiddie table, as Noelle put it. They wouldn't give us any of the good booze until Pukey called in a favor from his snowboarding buddy. We left not long after that.

When we started talking about leaving, Diz offered to buy the first round at some bar she and her odd friends had found the other night. I was all for that, unfortunately Pukey was along too. Tallana didn't look enthusiastic, but after Noelle tried to offer her an out and Diz managed to talk Noelle into joining us in the bar, Tallana reluctantly followed. The Lieutenant Commander at first acted like he was going to veto out little bar hop, but then he suddenly produced a voucher which he handed over to Diz. She looked confused, and even tossed a crack about carrying any drunk team members out if needed to make it to the transport on time.

The bar she drug us to, not letting us stop anywhere to change out of the nice stuff worn to the bonding, was small and poorly lit, but had a good selection of alcohol. Noelle sure did get a lot of attention, and when I commented in surprise to Dizi's friend, Blue, he chuckled and pointed out that everyone was admiring her muscle tone. I guess I never bothered to look, she is my crewmate after all, but now that it's been pointed out, yeah, I can understand the attention she'd been getting.

The trip back to the Shingen wasn't anything of note. For once, the transports seemed well maintained, so I could even catch some shut eye. I asked Diz if she'd started lurking on the ship's BBS yet. She admitted she hadn't yet, but she was intending to do so soon. Possibly after she checked in with her brother, the one who hadn't tried to kill me, she assured.

I hadn't realized, until the conversation during the bonding, that she had two brothers. I'd only met the one, Kaith, while we'd been on opposite sides of a war. I can understand his desire to kill me at the time, though it's still rather unsettling. We got to talking about family and I found out the three of them are a set of triplets. She's the oldest, Kaith's the middle one, and that leaves Kang, the one I just found out about, as the youngest. She says she'll have to introduce me to him, he's an engineer too. Where she got her special disruptor and type one phaser, actually.

When I arrived back on the ship, I already had a message waiting for me from Dizi's friend Corey, reminding me that he was looking forward to getting the specs for my pocket space. I need to attempt to spill forth those details into a message back to him, I don't think I've ever actually documented any of it before. Half the time when I attempt to document something, I end up with a whole mess of improvements and tweaks I need to try out, so I suspect that project will be a long one. I'll double check when my next duty shift is scheduled before I start.

So, after parting ways with Diz, Jack and Corey, I approached the doors to Thil's quarters. I was promptly let in, and I don't even know if the doors were closed behind me before she threw me against the wall saying something about a rematch. There was a delay in my response, as at first I wasn't entirely sure what she was talking about, but once I actually made eye contact with her, it was pretty clear. I don't think anyone with the good sense to find her attractive would dare say no.

I want to say that I thought I heard Diz, possibly also Corey, shouting and whistling at us through the walls. Every time I stopped to try to identify what I was hearing, she did something new and amazing that immediately drew my full attention exactly where she wanted it. I think my bruises from last time have bruises, and I think I'm starting to understand what it is that Diz enjoys so much in mixing the pain and violence in with her sex.

When she'd finally been satisfied and let me collapse back onto the floor to try to catch my breath, I curled up against her and listened for any more noise from next door. I was concerned when I didn't hear anything, so I commented to her about it. She had a dismissive comment for my concern, but then I remembered I'd come to invite her to join us for the consumption in the finest of alcohol seized on earth. I think she was amused that her counter parts on earth disposed of their contraband much the same way she did.

Once we gathered up enough clothing to be decent, we headed over to Dizi's quarters. The place was dead when we arrive. Jack was perched backwards on a chair, and Diz was sprawled across Corey who was lounging on the couch. All three heads turned our way as we walked in, and a chorus of wolf whistles, applause, and commentary assaulted us. I'm pretty sure I went tomato red, and Thil shrugged it all off. When I didn't budge from the door, she smacked my ass. I produced a loud yelp, and jumped out of the doorway quickly, as she'd managed to find the large bruise she'd left there from the first time.

Once the door was shut behind me, she made her way to the table to inspect what else was in the box. She emptied the contents across the table, all lined up nice and neat. Amazingly enough, Jack's dad had found alcohol even I hadn't seen before, and that quickly drew me further into the room. As I picked up this bottle and that, half of which I couldn't read the labels on, she picked up the box to inspect the customs seals. Some conversation was exchanged between her and Jack on the subject of his father, before she and I found places to sit and join in the boozing and conversation.

Diz had a few choice barbs about the manner in which I chose to perch upon the chair I grabbed, in light of my tender ass. There wasn't really anything I could say to explain it, keep walls are hard, and when one's ass is forcefully pushed against them repeatedly, what else can happen but bruising? I'd do it all over again though. She did corner me for a moment of private conversation later in the evening to admit she was glad to see me enjoying myself with Thil.

Corey watched Noelle walk away, a frown on his face. "I'll bet she could break me with her little pinky, too..." Diz snickered, and I looked at Corey confused. Jack got a slack look to his face.

"Her? No way, she's so tiny!" Jack objected and Diz shook her head.

"So, lead on to the liquid distraction, oh half cocked one," she demanded, changing the subject. "We're going to your quarters, yes?"

"They're a disaster right now," Jack admitted sheepishly. Diz clucked her tongue. "How about yours, Corey?"

"I've got the model of the solar sail laid across my table, the blue prints for three different projects laid across the couch, various salvaged parts scattered across the floor..." Corey explained.

"Spiegel would feel right at home," Diz teased.

"Hey, I keep most of my clutter in my pockets!" I insisted.

"Temporary quarters are always clean quarters, we'll go to mine then, if you boys aren't going to be afraid of a drunk lunatic with access to her full artillery," Diz suggested.

"Why don't we go to his?" Jack asked with a nod towards me.

"Diz does entertaining things with her weapons when she's drunk," I pointed out, and Corey nodded vigorously. Jack sighed.

"He's just scared of her, considering she's always been able to mop the floor with him, and he doesn't worship the violent goddesses like I do," Corey told me in a conspiritory tone.

"Have you two... er-" I tried to ask. Corey laughed.

"Jack still carries a torch for her, saturated with flame retardant and floating at the bottom of the pacific ocean though it is, and dim witted though he is, he's still my best friend. I couldn't do that to him," Corey explained. I nodded as if this made sense to me.

"For a best friend, you sure talk a lot of crap," Jack whined. "And what's that supposed to mean, saturated in flame retardant and at the bottom at the ocean?"

"There's a better chance of that torch spontaneously combusting than of you having sex with me again," Diziara explained. Jack pouted, and I stared at him confused.

"You had sex with him?!" I finally spit out, looking at Diziara confused. Jack turned and glared at me, Corey shook his head, and Diziara caught me around the shoulders in a friendly, though somewhat serious, grip.

"May I politely suggest that you leave the abuse of Jack to Corey and I? He is the source of alcohol for tonight's entertainment, and I'd rather not have to threaten bodily harm to allow you to continue to play," she explained to me quietly, out of Jack's ear shot.

"I have alcohol too," I insisted, patting my pockets.

"I wasn't aware that Andor had mini bars," Corey said.

"Mini bars are a waste of time," I explained, and reached into my pocket to grab a random bottle. Corey and Jack went saucer eyed as the bottle of Merlot I acquired from the flaming fat bastard was pulled from my pocket.

"Holy shit, how'd you do that?" Jack demanded. Before I could blink, Corey was on his knees and closely inspecting my pocket. When I tried to back slowly away from him, he caught my thigh in a vice grip. I looked to Diziara for help, and only got an amused grin back from her. I looked back down at Corey, and found he was elbow deep in my pocket.

"You are an absolute genius man, I love you," he proclaimed.

"And he will, literally, if you're so inclined," Jack snarked. Corey beamed up at me until he saw the look on my face.

"Only if you're so inclined. I'm perfectly happy with platonic love if that's all you're interested in," he assured me and turned his attention back to my pocket. "You use subspace to do this?" I nodded. "That is so awesome, what would you want in return for a copy of the specs so I can try to set it up for myself?"

"Err, let go of my leg and never grab me like that again...?" I said quickly. Corey blushed as he let go and stood up quickly.

"Sorry, man," he said sheepishly

"It's not a proper evening of drinking unless Spiegel gets pushed out of his comfort zone," Diziara insisted, and laughed when I shot her a sour look.

"There's been no alcohol yet," I grumbled.

"Let's fix that then," Diziara said, and gave Jack a shove by the shoulders to lead on again.

As we followed the dim witted one, Corey kept a respectful distance between he and I as he interrogated me on my pocket space. Despite the oddness about him, he was more knowledgeable about engineering than some people I've served with, yet he'd only minored in it in the Acad. He had a natural skill for it, and with proper training could have easily been an engineering genius, instead he decided he wanted to fly like Diz and Jack. When I found out his call sign was da Vinci, I was hardly surprised.

After a detour past Jack's quarters, truly a disaster area as promised, we headed back towards the part of the ship with the temporary quarters we were assigned. Jack had simply picked up the package sent by his father, covered with any number of seals and labels indicating it was being shipped by the Admiral in charge of federation customs on Earth. That explained why Jack had access to such delightful things as Romulan Ale. He, Diz and Corey made for her temporary quarters, and I excused myself a moment to stop by Thil's quarters to see if she was interested in joining us.

Pukey didn't understand why Diz would actually drag the Lieutenant Commander out of the base, thrown over her shoulder in a fireman carry, instead of letting him sacrifice himself for the good of the mission. Dude's really not the brightest crayon in the box. One shouldn't need to ask why one does their duty and watches out for their crewmates, especially not if he's in security.

I finally got the chance to test out my cascade kamikaze virus I've been tinkering with for years now. Noelle and I brought the base computers down, and split open the security system with little difficulty. She's easily a crack genius, and it's nice to work with someone that can fall into the same thought patterns as me without needing to have spent years getting to know her first. At any rate, being the paranoid person I am, I figured it didn't hurt to have some insurance in place, in case the True Heirs of Andor had a crack genius of their own to bring in and restart the system.

The beauty of the cascade kamikaze is that it self destructs, so there's no evidence left behind to engineer protection, it hides in core system files, and it self replicates itself with a low level AI. The AI randomizes the amount of times between waves, and as it moves forward, more and more kamikaze runs develop. When the virus finally reaches its crescendo, it basically takes down the whole computer with it with a final blast of random noise before erasing the whole disk behind it. I also set it up to report back to me via a random selection of anonymous gateways, so I can figure out how well it did on its job, in case SI can't or won't give me the report on the final damages. They'll hopefully realize it's better to collect the data for me and hand it to me, than to let me collect it on my own. If they help me out, I might be inclined to share my data with them instead of making them work their asses off to get it.

No matter how long I've known Diz, and how many of her friends I meet, she never fails to surprise me when she introduces me to the next one. They all seem to be a different sort of weird or unique. This Jack guy, he doesn't seem like the normal sort, but given that she met him while she was in the Acad, and apparently she doesn't remember the first half of her time there, that would probably explain how she got mixed up with this loser. I can only hope this Corey they both mentioned turns out to be a better guy than Jack. I really don't like Jack, but I have to play nice if I want a share of whatever delightful alcohol is in this care package his father sent him.

I knew Diz was intense, crazy even, when involved in combat, but I didn't expect her to go at her friend like she did. Clearly he expected such from her, as he returned it in kind and eventually came out with victory. It was especially weird to see the two fighting after having seen them entwined in sex the night before, but I think if there hadn't been a gaggle of children watching, they would have likely fallen back into the sex as they finished the combat. Very weird to watch.

What was weirder was when Noelle and the Lieutenant Commander showed up as Blue helped Diz up off the ground. Noelle made a comment about wasted energy, and this bristled Thil's feathers, resulting in a challenge. To my surprise, and probably a few others, though not Diziara's, Noelle accepted the challenge, and even shunned the need of a weapon. Having no idea what was going on, when Diziara offered a bet on the outcome of the fight, I blindly agreed. I now owe Diz some very expensive, and hard to get, 2309 vintage Bloodwine.

Thil didn't take kindly to losing to Noelle because of some zen ninja tricks, and while I'm impressed, I did also feel kind of obligated to follow her and soothe her, since everyone just took amusement from her loss. She departed in a hot headed stalk, down the stairs we entered from, I think the only reasonable entrance/exit to the place, though I must admit that I've never been one to inventory exits, other than when I knew I was going into a potentially hostile situation. Diz would say this is stupid of me, and I suppose she is right. What is it with me surrounding myself with hot headed women?

At any rate, it didn't take me long to catch up with Thil, as she'd only started down the stairs a minute or so before me. She was still fuming, but she had elected to slow down and brood instead of continuing to storm off at high speed. Knowing what hot headed women are like when startled in the middle of a good brood, I elected to let her know long before I reached her that I was in pursuit. The way she turned when she herd my voice told me I'd made the right choice to keep a few meters between us. When she saw it was me, she started spouting off about the duel, how humiliated she was to lose to Noelle, and how stupidly she'd acted in the process of losing.

Once I'd reached her side, we continued down the stairs and she kept talking. She slowly transitioned from the humiliation at the hands of Noelle to her pending bond. By the time we found somewhere to sit, she was going on about the zhen of this future bond. Thil went on about her artwork, and being enrolled in the art academy, and mentioned that she didn't care about the low match rating she had. When I admitted I wasn't familiar with whatever that was, I got one heck of a lecture. Apparently people are so worried about producing as many offspring as they can, they rate each person based upon genetics, family and career path, and try to compose bond groups based upon this rating system.

I was curious what would make such a fascinating person a low match, but I wasn't sure if I should ask, as it might have been rude. Like the weather, apparently the politics and details of this match system were a serious enough and large enough topic to make it justified for Thil to go on about it. I had a little trouble following some of it, but one of the things that made this soon to be zh'yi of hers such a low match was having Aenar blood, of an amount larger than the Andorian society seems to think proper. When I indicated a lack of familiarity with the Aenar, I got another lecture about this subspecies which has much fairer skin, and a tendency towards being blind and telepathic.

She keeps calling me pinkskin, which from most of the other people here is intended as an insult, she seems to use it in reference to me in a more friendly term. She's more of a wild flame than Diz, Diz is more like an oxyacetylene welding torch. It feels odd for me to compare these two women so much, especially since I did have sex with Thil, and Diz and I are completely platonic. With Diz, it was almost like watching a sister when I saw her at the festival, but since I get so detached about sex I'm not actually participating in, I could still watch. I still don't understand it, but oh well.

Thil and I talked for a good long while, well, she talked to me for a good long while. Once she'd gotten everything out, she looked at me. After that silence, she thanked me for listening to her, muttered something about going off to think, and left me alone. Left with nothing better to do, I found my way back to the space that'd been set aside for the away team to sleep in, and played with my pocket space for a bit. I've set up a temporary anchor point that I can use in these pants I'm borrowing during my stay, and in the future have an easy way to anchor the pocket space to whatever pocket I happen to be wearing at the time. Something that will be useful in the future, especially if we end up in another Andorian keep during this mission and I have to hand over my pockets again.

Well, Diz would have lost her bet, had she laid money on me not getting any. Though I must say I'm not sure how to take being Mr. Good-Enough, instead of Mr. Exotic-Pinkskin-One-Night-Stand. I do find amusement in the fact that it was the actions of the Lieutenant Commander that lead to my getting some though, and Thil is very attractive, though somewhat different than what I've come to expect, biologically speaking, from the lady-folk.

All peer pressure and outside factors aside, it was good. I need to figure out how to initiate this sort of thing, instead of sitting back and waiting for someone like Thil to happen to me. "Happen to me" is probably the best way to put it, as I really did nothing to cause our interactions. That's not to say I did nothing once we got started, but I doubt I did anything to actually deserve the attention.

This sort of encounter really is more of Diziara's bag, but I can honestly say I'm starting to understand the appeal of it.

It was wild, even violent at times, and she was cursing and insulting the Lieutenant Commander almost every other breath. That was off putting at first, but once I got used to it enough I could tune it out, it really turned into little more than background noise. I don't think I've ended up with so many bruises and scratches before, though I suspect Diz will tell me to wear them all with pride. I know she does, I've seen how she comes through some of her one night stands, and even with the poor lighting and the makeup covering every inch of her body, you could tell she certainly ended up with her mementos from the performance tonight.

It'd been so long since I'd been on a real away mission with Diz, I forgot how excitable she gets when faced with the prospect of fancy flying, playing with souped up equipment and craft, and how quickly she can turn from criticizing me to singing my praises depending on what toy she wants fixed and if I can do it. I don't mind at all, as she usually gives me lots of fun things to do, and can often find the best alcohol when I fail. I am convinced that trouble follows that girl like flies follow a horse's rear end, but where trouble goes there is always room for an engineer to fix it. Some of my best inventions and quick fixes have been the result of her needing something absolutely impossible.

There was the time when we were on a sabotage mission on a Klingon station during the Klingon war, and we got pinned down. She reminded me how much Klingons hate the cold, and next thing you know I had built a shoulder mounted air conditioning unit to help clear our path and even the odds a bit. If her brother hadn't been stationed there, we probably would have made it out scot free after that, damn trill genetics and being cold resistant. I'm just glad that she was the better fighter of the two of them. I think that mission was what started our friendship. It's also what got us assigned together so much, she insisted she could trust me and recommended I get more away missions. I wanted to kill her for that recommendation, but our friendship flourished anyways.

I'm going to have to figure out where to get her some fancy chain mail like we saw in Harbortown, we ended up splitting town so quickly once we found Haslev that she and I couldn't make it back to that booth we'd been looking at. I was surprised she liked the chain mail, she usually favors leather because it's lighter to wear, and makes less noise, but I suppose sometimes one just can't resist the shininess of it.

When we finally stop moving around so much, I'm going to have to sit down with my holding tank of bugs, and see what all I caught. I didn't actually take the time to look at it once the room was clean in that restaurant, as the alcohol menu was rather impressive, but I do remember overhearing the lieutenant commander spotting a borg bug in there. That alone could make the whole batch worth it, I haven't had a chance to play with borg tech yet. Some people would insist that's probably for the better, but as long as I'm not staring a drone in the face, the borg fascinate me. Such a wide cross section of technology, all blended together, constantly evolving and improving due to a combination of built in self awareness and the fact that the collective is always acquiring new species and technology from other sources.

I'll probably let Noelle have at the rest of the collection, it sounds like she hasn't had as much of a chance to play with these things as I have. That's not too surprising, they do tend to keep the noncoms a little isolated and she only just got promoted to the upper decks. It seems like the lieutenant commander would be interested in playing with some of what I caught also, but I suspect the rest of the ship would hate me forever if I gave him easy access to new technology to bug their quarters with. That reminds me, when I get back to the Shingen, I should do a sweep of my quarters and Dizi's, disable or at least identify what he's placed in there. It's not like I do much that I'd care if others see, and Diz really is not shy at all, if she thought she could get away with it she'd walk around with nothing more than her weapons strapped on and sex would occur wherever she encountered her partner of choice, but it is nice to be reassured that should anything happen either of us would like to keep private there won't be a bug reporting the whole of it to the lieutenant commander.

He likes my book. Well, at least that's what I would assume he'd say if he weren't so socially awkward outside of the context of his own people. He did say that the book has been useful. I figure that's the closest he'll come to saying he likes it, but it is obvious he likes it. Dude has a dog eared and marked copy in his pocket. That is the best complement one could get when they write a book like this. I am happy.

Also, I suspect this shen who knows the lieutenant commander is going to hook us up with good booze. She said something about contraband to dispose of, and in this sort of context, it's always booze. I am curious about what it is, and hope that the two of them will be inclined to share.

Diz, with the subtlety of a ton of bricks, is talking to Noelle about sexual relations with Andorians, and threatening bodily harm upon Pukey. I still haven't figured out why she got his purse back from the kid if she hates him so much. Oh well, it seems to have worked out in the end, other than the awkwardness when the zhen and her child left us after some words exchanged between her and the lieutenant commander, having the two of them with us for the final leg of the journey seems to have helped.

Princess is really looking down her nose at me now, though. The lieutenant commander did warn me that she was offering up her chance at a seat on the shuttle because she considered me to be weaker than her. She can think whatever she wants, it won't make it right. I just didn't feel like standing anymore. Besides, Diz was standing half in front of the seat I landed in, and I know she gets annoyed when she can't have her back turned to something or someone she considers safe. She's more than capable of watching her back when she knows she needs to, but she dislikes it. She's been especially uneasy since the lieutenant commander shot her in the back in that brawl on 668. I still want to hear more about what was going on, because I know that sometimes she does exaggerate a bit. Such tendencies do seem to come with the Klingon DNA.

I do think Diziara will be more comfortable when she gets more than just her d'k tahg back into her possession. The girl is perfectly happy to walk around without a scrap of clothing on, but she truly feels naked without weaponry on her person or within easy grasp. I suppose she feels the same way without a weapon as I do without my cargo pockets full of tools. We each have our tools of our trade, it's just hers usually require more force or red tape cutting to carry with her all the time.

When she left, Diz was so hopping mad I was absolutely surprised she left our host in one piece. I was flattered when she referred to me as family though, and did threaten to kill Kovalth if he does anything to me. I'll have to see if this means she expects me to swap some blood and some antique Klingon phrases, or if she's just giving me the benefits of such without expecting me to play with Klingon culture. I can worry about that when we get back to the ship. For now I have to keep Pukey from irritating me long enough we can get out of this, both of us alive, as I suspect that despite his annoyance factor, it might not go over well if I kill him myself.

Our "host" showed us into a room with a couple of beds, and a spread of food and alcohol that would make a Ferengi's eyes gleam with more greed than is natural. It took a bit of self control to avoid being distracted by the booze right away, as our "host" was still in the room and I didn't want to give him indication of my interest in case he'd try to use it against me.

"I don't intend to actually HARM you. If I did, shouldn't I do it in front of the group?" Kovalth explained with a hearty chuckle. "No. Don't think of yourselves as hostages. Think of yourselves as... insurance. I'm going to have to ask you to change clothes though. It's a little security measure, I'm sure you understand. Ha ha ha."

Before Kovalth departed, Pukey asked for some ginger ale, which was brought fairly quickly. I started to inspect the booze laid out as Pukey started to whine.

"The old C o S used to always say on away missions. Do not eat anything. Do not drink anything. Do not eat anything. Do not drink anything. Do you understand? Good. Don't EAT ANYTHING OR DRINK ANYTHING." As Pukey said this, he held his fingers up by his forehead, and pantomimed antennas thrashing about in a manner of annoyance. When he finished mocking the Andorian, he dropped his hands as if he was at a loss as to what to do with them. "But... this new C o S has said nothing of the kind..."

"Maybe Lieutenant Commander th'Shan just told you that because he knew you couldn't keep your stomach," I shot as I picked up an especially rare vintage of Blood Wine and shoved it into my pocket.

"I wonder if King Hades over there will make me stay a day here in Hell for each one I eat." As he said this, Pukey picked up a halved pomegranate and picked out the seeds.

"I hope so, eat a dozen." He happily kept eating, oblivious to the implication behind my statement.

"He was a great micromanager, actually. He'd give us very specific instructions about each and every thing to do and not do. Lt. Klasq just sort of... stuck us down here with guns. What gives?" Pukey's whiny voice jumped a bit higher.

"She hits me as someone who expects to have competent officers under her command." I slipped an extremely rare vintage of Andorian Ale into my pocket which Pukey may or may not notice really shouldn't be fitting into my pockets. While doing this, I remembered that Lieutenant Commander th'Shan had dropped something in my pocket, so I felt around for it. It was pretty small, felt like it was wrapped in tape, and I decided to check for surveillance devices before pulling it out to look at it. The most likely candidates for hiding cameras seemed to be the wall sconces and the chandelier. Kovalth seemed like a camera person, and not for security reasons either. I started checking the wall sconces as I barked at Pukey, "Pukey, quit stuffing your face and help me check if we're being watched with cameras or something."

"Oh, sure," Pukey happily says. "This'll be easy, they used to call old boss the Bugmeister. You realize that the old bugs are still in place and he's probably watching you go poop in your quarters. There was a good reason for that," Pukey says. "Can you hand me a hyperspanner?"

I reached into my pocket, found the hyperspanner has fallen deeper into my pocket than usual, and ended up elbow deep before I managed to grab it. Apparently Pukey didn't notice, that trick usually unsettles people who weren't familiar with the oddness of my pockets. I handed over the hyperspanner, which he tossed onto the bed before changing into the clothing our "host" provided for us. Once he was done changing into the red and black silk outfit, open shirt showing off his body which would qualify him for a part in some of the fancier adult holonovels, I winced as he roughly jerked apart the hyperspanner, and proceeded to use a random part to cut apart the shirt he just changed out of.

"You are going to be able to put that back together to return to me, yes?"

"I can put anything back together I pull apart," he says, "Sorta"

"Nevermind, just give me the pieces when you're done butchering it." I sighed. Pukey started nosing around the room and looked up at the chandelier about the time I'd finished inspecting the wall sconces and had drug a chair over to the chandelier.

"I wonder why I didn't get promoted to Tactical," he whines a little. "Half the team went with old boss when he got promoted. Oh well. We can worry about that later." Pukey darted onto the chair before Spiegel could, and covered the the cameras he found with the shredded bits of his shirt.

"Would you like some cheese with your whine? Our host has been so kind to offer such a selection..." I growled as Pukey jumped down from the chair. He blinked and stared blankly at me for a moment before explaining his actions as if I didn't understand.

"You see, if I used the actual bedclothes... um, a lot of these places have sensors embedded in their stuff so they know if you're tampering with their stuff. Your OWN stuff though. They don't expect that. Heh heh. I love the way I think." Pukey went back to stuffing his face, and I looked up at the cameras he'd covered. They were pointed at the beds, which probably shouldn't have surprised me given the nature of our host. I pulled the gift from the Lieutenant Commander out of my pocket and looked at it. A pair of standard surveillance transponders taped together with a note tucked between.

I started to inspect the note as Pukey started babbling again. "Huh, you know what he said to me when I left? He said all of this during the tactical briefing. He said... 'Over the next several days... you will face many problems without solutions. But there IS a solution. It is... an enigma."

I didn't say anything to Pukey as I started looking at the note. It appeared to be Andorian, so I ran it through my PADD. It said:

Eat this message when you're done. Sit tight and play along. Eyes are watching you from above. Kovalth is not a good man. But he is not the enemy. Humor him. Eyes are watching and we have a lock. Keep ears on. Stay silent. Listen for the dots and dashes.

Shan out.

And on the back, there was some more, this time in Spanish. The ink was starting to smudge by this point.

Lucas,

You are being watched from above - if you get into trouble, tap SOS. Singh will get you out. But DON'T DO IT unless things are desparate. The grab will be risky. Signal loss right now is 20% which for an engineer is an unnacceptable risk. But yes. We CAN get everyone out. It's just risky. And dissappearing the team is a quick way to give our plans away to Kovalth. So you need to just sit tight, okay?

And before you think I'm psychic, how I knew YOU would be a hostage... they always grab the engineer. Always. The heavens are watching you.

Noelle.

By the time I finished reading the note, the corners had started the crumble, and the ink was getting more smeared, though it was still somewhat readable. "Your former C o S says to eat this message," I told Pukey, and held it out to him.

"Did he mean for ME to eat it or YOU to eat it?" Pukey sat on the edge of one of the beds, blank look and silk pajamas more or less assuring me that my assessment of "adult holonovel star" was probably the best job for this lunkhead.

"You," I answered, even though I suspected the order might have been directed at me.

"Oh, okay." He took the note, and shoved it into his mouth with a small shrug. "We've done this before. It's made of rice paper. The ink is colored sugar water."

While waiting for our host to grace us with his presence again, I inspected the room and helped myself to a few more bottles of rare and exotic alcohol, checking the stopper on each before slipping it into my pocket. Too many away missions with Diziara had me checking my exit options, and finding myself annoyed when there didn't appear to be any way out other than transporter or the door we came in through. Pukey prattled on about his career as a security officer, or rather the boring lack of forward movement. He was blissfully ignorant of the lack of forward movement, as his enthusiasm showed that he felt his job is fun.

At one point, Pukey pulled out something I hadn't seen since long before I joined the fleet, a rosary. After he used it and put it away again, I asked him about it. "Still practicing?"

"No, just superstitious."

"I don't know many people who were raised in the catholic church that continue to practice once they're old enough to make the choice. I think I left my rosary in my closet back at my mother's apartment when I joined the fleet. About the only thing I hung onto from those days in my belief in saint Vidicon."

"Who's saint Vidicon?"

"Patron saint of technicians and engineers."

"Saint Apollonia is my patron saint, my mom wanted me to be a dentist. Even so, she's been watching out for me. In my high school yearbook, I was 'best smile' four years in a row." He grinned and displayed a set of teeth so straight they could be used as a ruler, and so white one almost needed eye protection to look at them.

After some more time with Pukey babbling on, grabbing onto this topic we had in common and brutally beating it like a dead horse, a manservant finally showed up to insist that Pukey and I join his master for dinner.

"I am not a BAD MAN, you know," Kovalth said as we sat down across the large table from him. The table was packed with anything and everything one could imagine. I even thought I saw German chocolate cake on a platter in the middle of the table. "You can scan it. Nothing is poisoned. Although if you are part Bolian I would not recommend the Aldebaran pheasant."

As Pukey brutishly piled his plate high, then dug in starting with the roast turkey, I tried to discretely scan the feast from under the table. Everything seemed okay, so I helped myself to a little of this and that, but worked at it slowly. Pukey was already piling his second plateful high as he washed down the first with a glass of what was probably merlot, based upon the bottle that was sitting opened near his glass.

While I politely nibbled at my food, and tried my best to be aware of what was going on around us, Kovalth asked all sorts of personal questions. I answered them neutrally and accurately, it wasn't going to hurt for him to know when I started masturbating or who I lost my virginity to. It's not like I cared who knew anyways. Pukey answered questions with his mouth full, and enthusiastically told about his sexual exploits. Food and sex seem to be the two topics this brute feels he has a mastery of, but based upon the stories he proudly told, I doubt he could satisfy a woman even if she provided him a road map.

Kovalth provided him with every sexually inept man's dream, a pair of Orion woman to use him and make him feel satisfied for it. They came in dancing and scantily clad, and paid him special attention when he forgot his food in front of him and instead chose to drool. I'd done some reading on the Orion culture, knew that their woman were dangerous, and I let him hold their attention. When they lead him off, and Kovalth made a comment about how he thought I'd enjoy the peace of his being distracted and elsewhere, I was mildly confused for a moment. I was also relieved, I was starting to get to the point where I might have killed the man myself if he didn't shut up, and I really wasn't up for trial and murder charges, even if it would have been justifiable homicide to anyone who'd heard the man prattle on.

I got a bit of a lecture on the nature of Orion society, one that would have been helpful had I not already read up on them during my teen years when the idea of owning an Orion slave girl still sounded appealing. I also found out that the girls had been a gift from Auntie Maude, the Orion woman who ran the whore house we'd met our contact in earlier. I also learned more about the Klingon foreheads than I cared to know about, as our host was a cast off from the fallout of the Klingon empire restructuring to be rid of most with the smooth foreheads. I honestly didn't care about any of it, so I quickly tried to change the subject to something I would possibly find more interesting.

I spotted the bottle of Merlot, as that was indeed what it was once I took a moment to look at the label. I picked it up and asked, "This is a pretty old vintage, where'd you find it?"

"Somehow, it was found in the wreckage of a Borg ship. I bargained with a conspicuously large-lobed trader for it. He said that despite the smallness of my lobes, I was a most impressive opponent, and perhaps I was born the wrong species. I took that as a compliment, told him I was honored. Before I put a knife in his throat." Kovalth chuckled as he answered.

"Usually the most profitable way to end a transaction with a Ferengi... What would wine be doing on a Borg ship?" I looked closer at the bottle, then pulled out my tricorder, too curious about it to bother hiding it out of politeness.

"Feel free to take it. It might fetch you a pretty penny on the auction block, or it might be cheap swill." He waved in a manner he probably intended to be generous, but came off as more dismissive. I grabbed the cork, gave it a sniff, then stopped up the bottle before shoving it into my pocket. I don't believe Kovalth saw where I'd put the bottle, as he probably was already too busy telling me stories of his sexual adventures to even notice anything unusual.

"I overheard that you were raised Catholic. As you can see I am a devotee of all seven of them, my friend," he eventually said, changing the subject again. Looking at the pile of inedible food waste piled to the side of his plate, he'd been eating the whole time but I hadn't been paying enough attention to really notice.

"I believe everyone should do and believe as they wish, as long as those actions and beliefs don't take that same right away from another," I replied when he seemed to be waiting for some sort of response from me. As I said this, a Denobulan entered the room. Somewhat underweight for the spieces, white haired and some wrinkles.

"I see you are enjoying the sin of Gluttony. Need I remind you that I should give you your shot now, Kovalth, lest your aorta decide to jump up through your throat and STRANGLE YOU as it is certainly developing a nice new shiny layer of PLAQUE," was the lecture Kovalth received as the Denobulan pulled out a medical tricorder and scanned me with it. "Hmmmm. A fine specimen you are. The master always has good taste."

I glared at the Denobulan for the implication behind his statement, and Kovalth laughed. "This is my answer to the problem of managed care, my personal physician, Sorax. Don't mind him. Doc, put that away, we're just enjoying ourselves." Sorax sneered at me as he was introduced, and I was reminded of some gossip I'd heard recently in the mess. Someone named Sorax had lost his medical license and was jailed for impregnating a patient of his, and possibly a laundry list of other things. He'd escaped, and there was currently a pretty good sized reward for his capture. I'll mention it to Pukey later, he can use his muscle to grab the man on our way out if we have the chance. The doctor gave Kovalth an injection and wandered off again.

After some more talk that I had to fight myself to pretend I was interested in, the Orion girls Kovalth lent to Pukey wandered back into the room. Pukey wasn't with them, and admitted he was still in the room recovering from their fun. I excused myself under the pretense of checking on him, but I was more concerned about getting away from the verbose Klingon. Besides, I think it would look poor if I didn't at least make an effort to bring Pukey back in one piece. Besides, I think the odds were speaking poorly of him coming back alive in the ship dead pool, I might as well help some schmuck out who made the mistake of betting that he'd come back alive.

We're in this dive bar on Zzyzx, waiting for the one we're to meet our contact in to open. I'm jotting this down on my PADD while pretending to be a negligent friend while Diz plays the drunk and fishes for info from the locals.

We've played this game before, and it works great when she's flashing skin and cleavage like she is, now that she left her leather trench in my care. She kept the katana strapped to her back, the Klingon disruptor on his hip, the d'k tahg in her boot, and exposed an antique gun at the small of her back, but I suppose she's half disarmed herself handing over the trench.

I could probably poke through the thing and see what else she's got aside from the smoke bombs and flash bangs, but she'd probably get pissed and/or homicidal towards me for it. Besides, it's more fun to watch the stupid things strange men will do to impress her and try to win her over.

First she got one who started showing off the various weapons on his person to get her attention. He had most everything laid out on the bar when she turned and wandered away from him. Half a dozen other men fell on him and picked the bar clean after leaving him on the floor. One of them found the bar stool next to Diz, and made the mistake of putting a hand on her, which she forcefully removed, probably breaking a bone or two in the process. The other men only seem encouraged by this challenge.

Right now, I'm listening in as three of them have worked out a plan where they might be able to get her out the door together, but they can't agree who gets first spoils should they succeed. They don't know the argument is futile due to a combination of her not being anywhere near drunk, my not actually neglecting her, and the fact that there are four other people in the bar who are supposed to be watching her back also, at least two of which actually are.

I wonder if Diz got any good information for her troubles.

I had no clue what a cross section of species Diziara played with when she hit the holodeck with her favorite, well any, weapons. She even had one program that simulates a Borg invasion. That was scary to happen upon, since she didn't clearly label it. She called it Tennis Invasion, so imagine my surprise when suddenly there were half a dozen Borg drones in my quarters when I ran the program, I actually forgot they were holograms at first, I was so surprised. I left them out of the away mission program, for obvious reasons.

Once I selected the programs to pull from, I set up an algorithm to extract the combat partners from each program, as well as their underlying combat protocols, then to load all the appearance specifications into one program, and to combine the combat protocols to remove any redundant information. The computer said it would take a few hours to run that for me, so I'll sleep now and add the protocols to allow the program to recognize away team members as their allies in the morning, probably on the ride down to the planet.

I was ass up in a Jefferies tube, trying to chase down an elusive, but minor, power fluctuation when she called. "Diziara to Spiegel."

"Can't you see I'm busy?" I demanded once I managed to tap my combadge.

"I just have a quick request, doesn't need to be done right now, just wanted to tell you about it before I got side tracked again," she explained. I sighed.

"Make it quick," I told her.

"Oh, you really are busy. I see." She paused a moment, but before I could insist she needed to either tell me what was going on, or let me call her back, she continued. "Would you load a cross section of my various combat programs into that mobile holoemitter you always seem to have stashed in your pocket? They might come in handy on the mission."

"Will do, gotta go." I closed the channel before she could start any random conversation. I had a power fluctuation to track down after all.

Lt. Tov glasch Mor is going to be a father soon. I'm still meeting and getting to know all my crewmates, but Tov seems a good guy.

The first time I encountered him, I was stuck under the ass end of some system, I think flight control because it had a bit of a hick-up in its hum, and suddenly I hear someone listing off a bunch of things I'd done wrong. I listened and considered each thing mentioned before rolling out from under the console I was at, and looked up to be staring at a Tellarite of a slighter build than I'd seen on the race before. As I stood up, and looked down at the guy, I pointed out exactly why I was correct in about half of the cases he'd listed off, and made a point to ignore his rank pips on his collar as I challenged his ability to critique my work, knowing his people enjoy a good verbal spar. Insults and commentary of the same nature have continued to sling across engineering between he and I since that day.

Today he announced his wife is carrying their first litter. He nearly crushed Noelle when she hugged him. I elected to stick to a handshake and a promise of awesome booze when the shift was over. The invitation was extended to the rest of the engineering crew present at the time. I had some bottles of Brandy and Jack tucked away that I thought would be suitable, as the names would represent both genders (if in an earth way). In the excitement, I forgot that Diz had demanded the privilege of attempting to teach me what to do with a knife, other than cut my food.

When she called to find out where I was, I invited her to join, unsure if she would or not. She surprised me and not only showed up, but she brought what was left of that Romulan Ale she almost smashed on Lieutenant Commander th'Shan's table in the mess last week. She never hit me as one who liked kids or even cared one way or another if anyone else ever had any, but when she showed up, she caught Tov in such a hug that his eyes almost bugged out like Noelle's had earlier from his hug.

When the impromptu celebration ended, and people wandered off to do whatever it was they'd originally planned for after their shifts, Diz drug me back to her quarters. The grin on her face as she did this should have scared me, and now that she's had to patch me up with her regenerator she keeps on hand, I can see why I should have been scared. I do think I've picked up some skills, and her commentary and noises she made during and after the session indicate I did better than expected. I may be bruised in places I didn't know I had, but it's kind of an ego stroke to do better than Diz expects in the area of combat.

She wants me to practice on my own, and we'll practice together at least once more before the mission. I still like phasers better, technology is my friend and a knife is as technologically advanced as, well, it isn't.

"You have some nerve," I started as I caught up to Diz when we were dismissed from the briefing.

"The-" she paused, and appeared to think better of what she was going to say, "Lieutenant Commander wanted a higher ranking engineer with combat experience. You filled both requirements easily." Her face was still plastered with the shit eater grin.

"You know I hate going on away missions, especially ones where I get shot at," I grabbed her elbow and pulled her to the side of the corridor, getting tired of having to hurry to keep up with her. She's only got two inches on me, but her stride was much longer than mine being all leg.

"You also have managed to never get injured or killed on an away mission with me. You hold the honorable distinction of being the only person to go on multiple combat missions with me and come back in as good or better condition as I left with you every time," she pointed out, and leaned against the corridor wall. "So, have you taken up a weapon yet, or are you just going to depend upon your good duck and run routine again?" I could tell she was prodding me.

"I've been practicing with a phaser, my accuracy is twice what it was before," I admitted.

"So you hit two out of ten, instead of just one." She grinned like a predator, and I grumbled. "Meet me at my quarters after you're off duty, I'll teach you how to defend yourself with a knife."

The shit eater grin on Dizi's face as I sat down next to her in the conference room told me all I needed to know. Someone decided it would be a good idea to let her go to town on whatever this away mission's going to be. I caught something about a scientist previously believed to be dead, and we get to go extract him. I overheard Indra talking to Ensign ch'Selos earlier about wanting him for the mission, but given that he was just dismissed and I've been called, I suspect Diziara had recommended me to take his place when someone found reason to not send him.

I remembered that while on the Rothmore, I'd taken the time to teach Diz morse code, so I tapped out on her knee "Did you drag me into this?" I saw her fight back a bigger grin as she tapped back a simple "y" on my knee. I tapped back, "Is Lt. Cmdr Shan joining us?". "No, he coordinates from the ship." and I didn't have to look over to know she was grinning like the Cheshire cat at that statement.